After Investigations
by FlashOfInspiration
Summary: A scene I imagine happened sometime after the events of ssn 2, ep 20: Investigations. Chakotay was hurt to find out Kathryn had kept knowledge of the traitor from him and wondered if it was a matter of necessity, or lack of trust. K/C


It was late, though you wouldn't be able to tell that just by looking at the room. There was no hint as to the hour from the windows; instead of sun, there was just a black sky filled with stars, planets, and possibilities. Kathryn Janeway was lost in thought, staring out at the seemingly endless universe, a PADD lying forgotten in front of her.

The bell to her ready room pulled her out of her reverie, but barely.

"Come in," she called.

The doors open to admit Chakotay. If she had been looking at him rather than out the window, Kathryn might have seen the slightly disgruntled look on her First Officer's usually stoic face, though it did soften when he took in her staring slightly dreamily at the stars.

"The full systems reports." He stepped forward to hand the PADD he was carrying to Kathryn.

She looked at him then, taking the PADD and examining it with the frown of concentration that was familiar to him. "Any major damage?"

Chakotay shook his head. "Nothing outside of the same problem we started with: the burnt out warp coils. We'll have to find another place to get the materials to fix them." Their first choice was probably crawling with Kazon by now. Thankfully, Voyager had been alerted to the ambush before it was too late, and had escaped with the rescued Tom Paris, and the rest of the ship, intact.

"A small price to pay for avoiding a battle with the Kazon and finally ferreting out the spy, I suppose." Kathryn shrugged. Frankly, she was relieved to have the matter over and done with. She had been furious initially to find out that one of her crew was selling them out to the Kazon. She took it as a personal affront, an attack on her leadership and the way she ran Voyager. But then the matter had turned to finding out who it was, and what could be done about it. Kathryn had been hard pressed for the first few days after discovering the betrayal to act normally. She had to remind herself not to view everyone she ran into with suspicion. But formulating a plan with Tuvok and Tom had helped. And now Voyager was safe again—until the next disaster of course.

"All's well that ends well then, Captain?" Chakotay said, almost parroting Kathryn's own thoughts. Or he would have been if his tone was not decidedly less pleased than her own mental one.

Kathryn looked up sharply, finally fully focusing on Chakotay's face. "Something the matter, Commander?" she queried.

"You were never going to tell me, were you? Was it even Tuvok's idea to keep me out of it, or was he just trying to protect you like always?" Chakotay didn't mean the last bit to sound so accusing. He understood that Tuvok and the Captain had a long history and a long friendship. And most days he was comforted by the fact that Tuvok was an ally in keeping Kathryn safe. But today, he was annoyed with all of them. He thought that he had done enough to earn Kathryn's trust by now. He supported her in her role as captain, told his former Maquis crew tough luck when they complained about Starfleet, and generally tried to help her as much as he could. He had thought they were making progress. Still, though, it seemed as if it wasn't enough.

Kathryn's expression grew sad and sympathetic in that maddening way of hers that made you think she understood. "I do trust you Chakotay," she said softly, answering the question he hadn't even asked. And yet not answering the one he had. Her look on him was intent. "The less people who knew what Tom was up to, the better. And I needed someone around to run things, to be objective. I couldn't have the whole command team looking at every crew member with suspicion. Tuvok was able to be objective but I—I struggled with it." She looked down with a sigh and rubbed her neck with the long, delicate fingers that looked like they should be running along the keys of a piano rather than holding a PADD.

When she looked back up at him, Chakotay could see how tired she was and immediately felt bad for his outburst. But it had hurt him to think that after everything, she still didn't trust him. He had thought they had integrated the two crews pretty well, but clearly there were still traces of the 'us' and 'them' mentality. Still, he couldn't argue with her wanting someone to be objective and able to function normally. Chakotay could admit that he was not a particularly good actor. If he had known, he might have felt it difficult to be convincingly hard on Paris. And he would have treated the others differently as well, trying to get the truth out of them.

"I guess it did all work out in the end," Chakotay sighed, echoing his earlier sentiments, but in a more resigned tone. It was foolish to continue talking about this, when the only thing bothering Chakotay were his feelings of hurt, annoyance, and betrayal. Those he would have to deal with himself. Kathryn already said she trusted him. There was not much more he could ask for.

Kathryn seemed to sense that Chakotay was not quite at ease with the situation. She wished that she could convey to him how much she did actually trust him. It had come as a surprise to her, actually, just how much she had come to rely on him. Kathryn Janeway was not normally a trusting woman. But Chakotay had somehow won her over with his easy, good nature, his even temper, and his steady dependability. She understood that it must be difficult for him, once a captain in his own right, to not be in command. And yet he did not complain, did not try to usurp her authority or damage her relationship with the crew members more loyal to him than to her. She appreciated it more than he would ever know. Probably because she didn't tell him. Which might be the cause for the guarded expression in his eyes now.

With a sigh, Kathryn got to her feet and moved out from behind her desk. "Sit with me, Commander?"

He did, knowing her well enough to know that she had something else to say. And, loathe as he was to admit it, he did want to be convinced of her faith in him. He didn't like to think that he was serving with—under—someone who did not trust him. He didn't like to think that _Kathryn_ did not trust him.

Kathryn sprawled a little on the couch, turned towards Chakotay. One arm was across the back of the couch, and one leg tucked up beneath her. She repressed a smile at Chakotay's straight back, his body turned politely in her direction. "I want you to know that I appreciate you very much, Chakotay," she said earnestly.

Chakotay's eyes widened a bit, but he said nothing.

"I don't regret how I handled this matter. Secrecy was necessary to the success of the mission. I do not want you thinking, however, that my silence was a reflection of the trust I have in you."

"Captain, you don't have to—" Chakotay began, stopping when Kathryn held up her hand.

"I know I don't, but now is as good a time as any to say it," Kathryn said impatiently. "You are a good leader, and a good officer, Chakotay." This time her tone was decisive. "When I told you I had faith in you to handle the matter with Tom, it was not part of the ruse. I knew you would be fair with him, despite how he was treating you."

Chakotay grimaced internally as he remembered all the unfair thoughts he had been harbouring towards Paris. There had been times he was tempted to utilize an old Earth punishment and send Paris to clean out Neelix's kitchen with a toothbrush. Or make him crawl through the Jeffreys tubes looking for dust. He was glad now he had managed to keep his temper, especially in light of the reasons for Paris' behaviour.

"Perhaps I haven't told you enough how much I have appreciated your support since landing in the Delta Quadrant. But I am always one for giving credit where credit is due and Commander, you do deserve credit."

Chakotay was wondering if he was going to start to blush. To think a few minutes ago he had been wanting to hear Kathryn's praise. Now, it was almost too much. Though he was glad to know that the woman he had come to admire and respect also thought well of him.

"So do you, Captain," he said, trying to deflect the praise from himself. "I think—well, I know that I was…not happy to be kept out of the loop but I can understand why it had to be done. You handled it well, just as you've handled everything that has come our way in the Delta Quadrant. I didn't mean to criticize."

"You did mean to," Kathryn corrected him. "But I understand why. I will accept your apology if you will accept mine," she said, with the smile of hers that made you feel like you were sharing a secret.

"Done," Chakotay replied decisively, unable to keep an answering smile from his own face. That was the thing about Kathryn Janeway; she could make you feel as if you and she were in it (no matter what 'it' was) together.

"Good!" Kathryn exclaimed. She clapped her hands together and got to her feet. "Now, how about some coffee in the mess?"

Chakotay shook his head with a smile as he followed her to stand up himself. Kathryn and her coffee. It was almost midnight and she was ready for her next cup. "A night cap would be more appropriate than coffee at this time of night, Captain."

"Was that an offer, Chakotay?" Kathryn raised her eyebrows, grinning.

"If you say yes, it was, if you say no, I was kidding," Chakotay joked.

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "More likely it was a gentle hint telling me it's too late in the day for coffee. Ah well, there's always tomorrow. Good night, Commander."

Chakotay shook his head, still smiling as he exited the ready room. "Good night, Captain."


End file.
